Microsoft Listens While You Touch Yourself

Microsoft SkinputMicrosoft is developing technology that would allow you to control your electronic devices by simply touching yourself. Imagine your phone pad or MP3 player’s controls being on your arm or hand, rather than on a physical device, and you’ll have an idea of the Skinput team’s vision of the future.

The current incarnation of this technology rests in an armband that listens to the vibrations and acoustics that naturally occur when touching or tapping different parts of the body. The middle of your forearm has a different bone density, size, and mass than your wrist, providing acoustically unique vibrations. Take a look for yourself:

Imagine taking a jog and skipping a song on your MP3 player by simply tapping your arm. Or swapping contact information by simply shaking someone’s hand (possibly the next generation of apps like Bump?).

My personal reaction? Thanks, but no thanks. While it’s impressive to witness the advancement of technology, I feel like skin-as-touch screen is more a gimmick than a marketable product. We saw what happened when Apple toyed with the idea of eliminating buttons all together.

Will Skinput technology be the way of the future? Or will people simply “Oooo” and “Ahhhh” and then go back to their physical devices? I suppose we’ll see.

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Location Based Ads from AT&T

AT&T appears to have decided to up their game since their recent loss of monopoly over the coveted iPhone. Not only was it just announced that they will be selling the Amazon Kindle, but AT&T also launched a location based ad service today.

Don’t worry, it’s opt-in, not opt-out. So you won’t be signed up without your permission. But you should check it out, the premise is actually pretty cool.

Called ShopAlerts, users can choose to get alerts, in the form of text messages, when they are physically near participating stores. The launch is being backed by companies such as Hewlett-Packard, Kmart, JetBlue, SC Johnson, Kibbles ‘n Bits. So, if you sign up, next time you’re walking past a Kmart, you may get a promotion vibrating in your pocket.

It’s currently only available in Chicago, Los Angeles, New York and San Francisco, but I’m sure it will be rolling out to more locations soon.

And thank you again, AT&T, for launching these ads as an opt-in service. While not for everyone, I definitely think there will be interest in this program.

Unless, of course, it’s just going to constantly remind you that you’re being watched wherever you go.

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Amazon’s Kindle coming to AT&T

Looks like Amazon has made a deal with AT&T to sell the widely popular Kindle E-Reading Device in US AT&T stores starting March 6th. The Kindle is steadily moving ahead at the front runner in the battle to be the most successful ebook reader.

It was just last June that Target announced they would be selling Amazon’s coveted Kindle. A few months later, Walmart announced they would be selling the Nook (Barnes & Noble‘s electronic book reader). I think we know who won that round, given public perception of quality re: Target vis-à-vis Walmart.

AT&T Stores are the next logical retail location for the Kindle, due to the free 3G connectivity over AT&T’s wireless network. No other ebook reader on the market can really compete with that. At least, not yet.

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Google Oops Disables 150,000 Accounts

It appears as if 150,000 Gmail users woke up this morning to completely empty and reset email accounts. If that isn’t one of the scariest things I can imagine, I don’t know what is.

Apparently, the issue only effected “less than 0.08%” of gmail accounts, but it really makes you realize the fragility of so many aspects of online life. With more and more business turning to Google to house larger and larger amounts of their vital information, glitches like this are definitely not welcome. No matter how many people are affected.

As of now, many of the accounts have been completely restored, and Google is working hard to get every affected account back up and running. Definitely not the best glitch to wake up to on a Monday morning.

Do you rely on Gmail for a lot of your vital information? Time to start backing up.

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The Vagina in the Window

It was a crisp and clear December day. I was leaving work to grab some lunch in the local corner deli when my eyes caught a familiar shape. Staring back at me, through the second floor window directly across the street, was a large hairy vagina. I paused a moment, my brain still processing.

I have spent a few years working on Broadway near Bleeker Street in NoHo, and I have seen this street chance dramatically. Restaurants have turned into used electronic stores, coffee shops into dope dealing hot spots, art galleries into hair salons. This particular workspace, now so elegantly vaginally decorated, had itself gone through many changes. Located in a second floor studio, directly above a clothing supply store, this space had underwent a complete redesign every few months. I was able to get a perfect view of each reconstruction by simply standing at the front of my store during slow times at work. Workers would toil away, tearing down all traces of the old business and constructing a whole new arena. Once this new space was finished, blinds would be installed and never again raised, preventing me from viewing the final redesign or any use thereof.

Until that one infamous day in December when I was confronted by a large vagina. The painting blended in neatly with the building’s facade and I briefly wondered how long it had been on display for attentive passersby. Below, on the street, cars and trucks zoomed down Broadway and tourists and residents alike bustled down the street. A man burst out of the used electronic store, cursing that the employees would not buy his old (stolen?) cellphone due to his lack of ID. He asked a woman who was walking by for a cigarette, and was denied.

The painting, entitled L’Origine du monde was painted by the French artist Gustave Courbet in 1866. An unabashedly erotic piece, the painting still  has the power to shock even the most jaded of viewers. The painting’s power comes from its context. One may expect to find a large, legs spread, vagina within the pages of a plastic-bag-sealed magazine or a website with three x’s in the title. Not lining the busy streets of NoHo nor lining the walls of exclusive art galleries. Vaginae, while not foreign to these venues, definitely catch of viewer off guard, causing them to pause for a moment, and think. There is a large vagina staring back at you.

I smiled and strolled to the Deli for a turkey sandwich.

The Origin of the World

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Twitter Helps Separate #Hoax from #Apocalypse

Jerusalem Dome of the Rock UFO

The apocalypse will be live-tweeted.

And thank God for that. Just imagine some horrible disaster happening somewhere just out of sight, and spreading, and having absolutely no warning until it’s outside your window.

Sometimes, when all is quiet and I’ve settled down in Brooklyn for the night, curled up in bed with my cats as we drift softly off to sleep, I’ll get a sudden sense of dread. Maybe I’ve read The Stand by Stephen King too closely or watched the Twin Tower plane crash footage too many times. But the fact remains, something insanely terrible can happen at any time. And New York City is definitely a target for terrorism.

It’s time such as this that I’m able to roll over and grab my iPhone. I’ll jump on Twitter. First, I’ll look and see if any of my local friends have posted about any horrific incidents or disasters. I’ll look at the headlines for the news sources I follow. If I’m feeling particularly antsy, I’ll check trending topics.

If none of the above are inundated with reports of some fantastical happening, I can rest easy. There hasn’t been a massive chemical warfare deployment over the streets of Manhattan. There isn’t a recently discovered missile heading straight towards us. Zombies have not yet started walking (staggering?) among us. There was no mass UFO sighting.

But, in fact, many people think there was an alien UFO sighting over the Dome of the Rock just last week. Apparently, two separate youtube videos popped up showing the same UFO footage from different angles. In each video, we can hear exclamations from fellow onlookers, all in disbelief and wonder.

With all the hype about the end of the world nearing, who can blame these innocent YouTube viewers? Especially when a growing number of people believe that the year 2012 will herald in an ascension to the fifth dimension in conjunction with the alien Pleiadian race? If these indigo children are correct, we should be seeing a lot more alien sightings in the near future.

However, the question remains, if there really was a mass UFO sighting, where is the social networking proof? I would almost immediately jump on Twitter if I saw a UFO, as trite as that sounds, and I know I’m not alone.

Yet, if one queries instances of the term “UFO” for the date of January 28th, 2011 (the alleged date of UFO footage), there are zero results. No one posted anything about any alien sightings. That strikes me as a little odd. That makes me think it never actually happened. Well, that one of the many reasons I believe it never happened.

If tweets about a real UFO sighting slipped through the cracks and did not become a trending topic, I would understand. Hell, if it did not even get retweeted outside of a small group of first hand witnesses, I would also understand. But to have absolutely zero twitter backup? I find that hard to believe. People tweet about being hungry or looking at snow. I think at least a few people would be tempted to tweet about a first hand UFO sighting.

So, for now, we can sit back and relax. There wasn’t some major alien contact event that you missed out on. The zombie outbreak hasn’t occurred just yet. There wasn’t a major terrorism attack a few miles away while you were watching TV and smoking your bong.

Twitter has your back. Thanks, Twitter.

Source: Daily Shite

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